Friday, June 27, 2014

Musings for today

Well, I am sitting here thinking about life. It is quite a deep subject. I find myself getting wound up at things I have no control over. No matter how long I live, I continue the need to learn. That is actually a good thing. The alternative is dire. I have always been drawn to those that are oppressed. I believed for years it was because I was oppressed. Then I found my paternal biological family full of Quakers. They were abolitionists and fought for the Union in the Civil War. I think it is just in my DNA to be an open minded person. I will fight for the rights of those with none. I believe adoptee's right for their information of origin is a civil right. I believe at the very least we deserve our medical history. We deserve the truth. To lie to a child about their birth is wrong. The truth will come out eventually and it is so much more painful later. 

I have seen the darkest sides of life. I have endured pain of all kinds. Because I have been through things, I have an empathy for others that struggle. I understand loss, mental illness, pain of abuse, chronic pain, dysfunctional family and more. Therefore, I get so angered when I see people being hateful to each other. I am guilty of doing the same. I am human. But, the one thing I am most intolerant of is intolerance. This little girl had no idea the amazing, yet, hard life ahead of her. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Life does get better emotionally

If I had only known that I could find peace when I was young life might have been less daunting. The anger was massive. The fear and self doubt were overwhelming. The guilt was just ridiculous. That was prior to finding out my life had been one huge lie! Then, oh, my freaking God! You adopted me just to abuse me? What a twisted mess. 

Searching for my bio. family was interesting. Who knew it was not my right to know where I came from according to the state? It was not my right to know my medical history. It was eye opening for sure. I was very fortunate to find my birthfamily quickly. It was all coincedence. I was very glad it happened so quickly because it was driving me over the edge of sanity. Then my life all began to make sense. I am much more influenced by blood than by environment. I found siblings as well as a mom and dad. It was a beautiful thing. It was a life changing thing. 

Adoption is not the wonderful solution that people think  it is. In many cases, it is a place to abuse kids who already feel different. I know there are situations where adoption is appropriate. But, I believe newborn infants belong with their bio. moms. You want to adopt? Adopt a kid in foster care. If you choose to give up your newborn; do it in an open adoption. Knowledge is power. Kids deserve to know the truth. 

Well, those are my musings for today. 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Shepherd's Heart #adultadoptee #survivorsexabuse
I am beginning this process of blogging. I have had a tragic yet satisfying life. It has been a roller coaster for sure. I grew up in a world of abuse while never fitting in. I could not understand why I was so different from my parents. It wasn’t until I was 32 years old that I found out I was adopted at birth. It was a shock for sure! I immediately searched for my birth-family. I found them six weeks later. It was an amazing miracle. That experience triggered a decade of emotional healing that needed to take place. I worked as an amateur private eye and reunited other families. I founded a support group for adult adoptees and birth parents. It was called Shepherd's Heart in relation to a parable about the lost sheep. I am not religious, however, I do have faith in my higher power. I would love to connect with others that share my interests. I am a singer and artist. I do not know where this will lead, but, it is exciting to begin something new.