I sang and gave a short testimony at an outdoor worship service. Bill and Anne came. He did not mind my telling people he is my father. In fact, I think he was proud. Annie seemed to be pleased with things as well. She and Jimmy hit it off from the beginning. They are cute together as Annie only comes about to Jimmy's waist! Bill made the statement to my friends that I am the only one of his that uses my God-given talent for music. He was just being a stinker with saying that. He liked things to be a certain way. I found him charming, but, he was used to being in charge. 😃 Later in life, his daughter began to perform professionally off Broadway. She is very talented. He was very proud of her as, am I.
He is everything I could have ever hoped for in a father. I told him that I love him when he hugged me at the hospital the next day.The strange thing is I do! I've only known him one week and I already love him.
I leave for Florida in just two days. I can hardly wait. I have had a natural desire to find my roots for about two years now. I sure did not know what I was getting into at the time. I have learned how much genetics play a part in what you are. I never fit in with my family growing up. It was like oil and water, we did not mix. There was never a real bond because we could not understand one another. I felt like a freak many a time when we thought so differently about life. I will always care about Earl and Ruth because of all the years we have shared, but everyone that knows me well has heard me mourn the fact that we were never close. I have struggled to forgive the transgressions I underwent. But I KNOW without a doubt that I have truly been given a gift of a set of parents and siblings that I can now be myself with. NO MORE SECRETS! It feels SO good. My deepest prayer now is that Mom and Dad can understand this.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."
How I know this to be true now deep within my soul. I have never been this happy and excited in my whole life. I just hope that I can always be careful to give God the glory for this mighty miracle. This closes the chapter on my search for my parents. But it is not an ending at all. It is a beginning of a brand new life filled with love for two new families that I am so proud to be a part of. I am grateful to all of these people for wanting to share their lives with me. I pray that I won't be a disappointment to them. If I could have picked parents when I began this search, I would have chosen Shirley and Bill. They are truly more than I could have ever hoped for.
Looking back, this most certainly was only a beginning. I had no idea the spiral this would trigger within me. Issues from a traumatic childhood would begin to haunt me. My family would be affected in negative ways. The highs were high. But, the valleys were low as well. The decade of my 30 's were the hardest emotionally. At times, it seemed it would never end. But, it did get better. More on that later. My trip to Florida next. I promise...😃
Note: The first time I performed for my father I was nervous and insecure. I was anxious for his comment. His response? Dipthongs! You need to watch your dipthongs! Not what I expected or wished to hear, but, strangely very much in line with Dr. Bill. 😉
Annie, Dr. Bill and myself at an outdoor revival....
Annie, Dr. Bill and I a humorous moment.
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