June 25, 1990
I was talking to my former teacher from college. I asked if she had ever heard of Hubbard Hospital. She said, "Yes. In fact the former program director of the OU Respiratory Therapy Program, John Hubbard, his family founded that hospital." He is in his 50's and now is in upper administration at Oklahoma Memorial Hospital. He is a registered respiratory therapist, also. I thought to myself, "Wow, respiratory therapy is in my blood! What a scary thought."
June 26, 1990
I talked to Genie and Rosa Lee. We planned to meet on Friday the 29th in Perry. Rosa Lee had talked to Jay, a first cousin of Dr. Gyles. She had been to my birthmother's house with Gyles some time after I was born. Her name definitely was Shirley.
June 27, 1990
I called Victor to get him to go to Perry with me. He had said on Saturday that he would be willing to meet with us. Now, he said, "There is no need to meet. I have something which I am hesitant to tell you. Your mother called me." I immediately thought he meant Ruth had called to tell him not to help me. I was furious and told him so. He said, "Not Ruth! I mean your MOTHER." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked what she wanted. It did not even occur to me that she might care about my well being. This is what he told me. My mother called him asking about me on either Memorial Day or Mother's Day. Her name is Shirley. She is in Florida. He has her current name and phone number. She wants to meet me. She lost her foot in some kind of accident. He mentioned Tampa. It could have been a little town around Tampa. My father played the part of Jesus in the Guthrie Easter Pageant. Shirley had lost a lot of weight. She was poor.
June 28, 1990
Jimmy and I met with Victor to try and get some information from him. We thought seeing me and my big pitiful eyes might soften the old guy's heart. No such luck! He did agree to call Shirley for me. I specifically told him to tell her to place an ad in the Daily Oklahoman Sunday paper. I bought the paper early every Sunday after that and scanned for anything that might pertain to me.
June 29, 1990
When I got home from work, I immediately called Victor to see if he had called her yet. He did not even
bother to call me himself.
He told me the following information: Shirley does not want to see me. She was fine in just knowing that I am "okay". I have a sister one year older living with her and a brother with five kids who do not know about me. Her husband died, one brother of mine died, her house burnt down and she had an accident which took her foot off but it was sewn back on. She is seeing a therapist who advised her not to contact me. It might disrupt both of our lives. But she wants a picture of me.
This pierced my heart. I was so hurt and angry. How dare her think I would send a picture without any conversation? That would be giving a piece of myself with nothing in return. She would be content in solving her curiosity and I would be left to wonder. No, I could NOT send a picture without any other contact. I asked if he told her about my placing the ad and he said no because she frankly is not interested. I felt like the fear of disrupting our lives was a mute point. My life was already disrupted. As far as my being "okay", well, I had now lost eight pounds in less than two weeks and could not sleep or work at home or on the job. I asked if he would mail a letter. He said he would.
July 3, 1990
I got the letter ready to mail and called Victor for his mailing address. He now said he could not mail a letter. How would he know that I did not put "identifying" information in there? I said read it. It's coming to your house. He told me he did not have her address. I said, "Call her and get it." He said that she does not want to give it to him and besides she is moving. I said, "So? Mail gets forwarded!" He said go ahead and mail the letter and we would have to wait to see if Shirley contacts him again. He urged me to send a picture and also pushed me to get permission from the Willinghams for him to give me her name and number. There was no way I was going to ask permission of my parents at my age. Besides, I KNOW Ruth all too well. She would not have helped me in any way.
This is all of part three for now. Reading this again brings me back to a very dark frustrating time in my life. To be an adult and have people of authority denying me the right to know the very basics of the truth about myself was maddening. This lawyer was of no help whatsoever. I am still quite amazed that Shirley called him just a month before I found out I was adopted. Serendipity, anyone? Actually, my half sister had a dream that she told my mother about in which she had two little sisters that were missing. Oh, the story does get curiouser and curiouser! Stay tuned! More to come.....😉
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