At 8:30 p.m., Cliff called and said, "Bring me what you've got and I'll find your mother." He was surprised at the amount of information I gave him. He said I should have been a detective. I realize, though, I was being lead by the Spirit. While at his house he called and had Shirley's traffic record checked in OKC. He found nothing. I said, "Wouldn't you know I would have the one person in Oklahoma for a mother that never had so much as a parking ticket. LOL!
July 29, 1990
We observed the Lord's Supper in a.m. church. This service means a lot to me because it brings to mind afresh and anew the tremendous sacrifice God made when he gave us His only Son. I felt particularly close to God on this day. I went home and never left the the phone in case Shirley called. A friend of mine called her brother that lived in Jacksonville to see if the ad actually ran and if the information was correct. When the day ended without a call I felt disappointed because I figured she did not see the ad or did not care to contact me.
July 30, 1990
This is the day that will forever be engraved in my heart. When I got up I resolved to get some work caught and put this all out of my mind for awhile. So much for resolutions!
At noon Cliff called. He said, "Have you got a pencil? Your sister's name is Faith Ann. You have a brother named Madison. I just talked to your brother. I am now awaiting a call back from your mother." He gave me their birthdays. My brother is 6 years older than me. My sister is 3 years older. I could not believe my ears! Cliff had gone to Dr. Hubbard's office. He told him he is a P.I. working on a case of an incident that happened at 1125 N.E. 20th (25-30) years ago. I was that incident. That was her address. 😉 He said that he knew the resident at that time was Shirley Phipps and she worked at Hubbard Hospital at one time. Dr. Bill had done surgery on Madison's foot in 1984 so there were records of recent employers. Cliff traced Madison through four former employers to Greenville, S. Carolina. He told the same story to Madison. Madison was wary of this strange call, but, took Cliff's number and said he would have his mother call back.
I was on pins and needles all afternoon. I came home early and sat by the phone. At 6:30 p.m., I felt as though I was on the brink of something. I called Genie, my anchor in all this, and said talk to me. I know Genie has a very strong faith and powerful prayer life. At 7:00 p.m., I received a beep on call waiting. This very sweet voice said, "Is Cliff there?" Then there was a long silence after I said no. There are no words adequate to describe the feeling I had when I heard her voice. I KNEW at that very instant this was my mother on the phone with me. After a long pause, I said tentatively, "This is Karen." She answered in such a cute way, "Now, that's not what I asked you. Does Cliff live there?" I said, "No, he doesn't." She said, "Okay, thank you." and then hung up! When I got back to Genie I could not even talk. I had chills and my heart skipped several beats. I told her I would have to go because I know that was Shirley.
Steve wasn't home so I called Martie, my mother-in-law. I told her what I thought and she felt that I was making something out of nothing. After all, people get wrong numbers all the time. She told me 2 months ago I would not have thought anything about it. Then she said, "You do not know any Cliffs do you?" I said, "Martie! Cliff is the bounty hunter!" She said, "OH! I did not know his name! Well, in that case, then, yes, Katie, that may have been your mother." Thank you. 😉 We talked for about 15 minutes before she realized my point. I think she thought I was losing it. By the time I got her to understand my line of reasoning, Steve was home. He agreed with me that it must have been Shirley. It was almost 8:00 p.m. by now and I began watching Sunset Blvd. on the television.
At 8:00 p.m. I could not stand the anticipation anymore. I said, "Steve, pray with me NOW!" We got on our knees before the Lord and I prayed aloud something like this. "Father in heaven, I feel right now that Shirley is scared. In the name of Jesus, I bind you Satan to get away from my mother right now! With the authority given me through the blood of Jesus, I command the spirit of fear and doubt to leave the heart of Shirley. I ask that you cover Shirley, Madison, and Faith with the power of your Holy Blood. How I praise you Father for the mighty works you have already wrought and I trust and believe for the miracles yet to come.” Writing this right now makes me relive this night and I am so filled with love for God and all of my family, new and old, like I have never felt before.
Fifteen minutes after the prayer, the phone rang. When I answered, no one was there. I repeated hello a few times and finally, that same precious voice from the earlier call said rather resignedly, "Karen...This is Shirley." I said in a too high voice, "Really?" She said, "It's quite a shock, isn't it?" I couldn't believe it. At last I found her! But, being the analytical mind that I am, I said, "Okay, I know what your name was when I was born. You tell me so I'll know you are the right person." (I was a bit concerned by putting my number in the paper that I would find some nut playing a cruel joke.) She answered, "Phipps" I said, "You're right." Looking back on it, I feel embarrassed. I told her she was right like she had won a contest or something. OF COURSE, she knew her name. Then she asked if my husband, Cliff, had called her son, Madison, that day. I told her Cliff was a friend of mine and yes he did call Madison. She wanted to know what I wanted with Madison. How sweet that was to be so concerned for her 38 year old son. She sounded so scared and worried for him. I told her I did not want anything from him. It was her I wanted to find. Then we began to talk and after about 30 minutes I was at such ease with her. She was with me as well and gave me her name, address and phone number. We talked for 2 hours and I was so totally comfortable with her. We had a repoir like I never knew could exist between mother and daughter. I fell completely in love with her during that first phone call. When she hung up she said with such feeling, "I love you, Karen." I was hooked right then. I came in the living room and screamed, "She's normal! She has a healthy mind and we actually relate to one another!" WHAT A FEELING! It was a breath of fresh air after what I was used to in a mother-daughter conversation. I was so excited that I did not sleep that night. I kept re-playing over and over in my mind the moment when she said this is Shirley and when she told me she loves me.
How it happened that Shirley made the call was as follows: When she got the message to call Cliff she was immediately suspicious. Madison lost the phone number, so Shirley called Victor to find out what was going on. He said he did not know. All he knew was that I told him for her to read the paper. He did not remember which paper. That is how she got the phone number to call me. So, the only really good things Victor did for us was tell me her name was Shirley, tell me the city of Jacksonville, and tell her to read the paper. The things he told me about Shirley not wanting to know me were not true. He also told her untrue things about me. Also, she had not asked for a picture of me. She realizes that would be unfair. She was scared understandably. She had no real idea what kind of person I am, or how I felt toward her.
I will stop here for now. Wow, again, I am brought back to a defining moment in time. I really have no idea what kind of game Victor was playing with our lives or what the truth was. It does not matter in the long run. It is just frustrating the hoops adoptees have to jump through to gain access to basic facts that most people take for granted. This story of mine was written in real time as it happened. The feelings were authentic. The roller coaster was real. The pain went beyond just myself. It turned my family upside down. My children were in middle school. It was so unfair that they had to live through their mother falling apart before she could become whole again. The twisted thread of secrets and abuse runs long though we can untie it with help. It is a a journey that has ups and downs. ❤️
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